You Gotta Love Philly…

So, I briefly mentioned that I’m going to be working part time in the near future in Architecture as a means to pursue other things in life with a little balance and perspective.  (More on anxiety induced panic attacks as a result of my job some other time… I’m in far too good a mood right now to write about that PLUS as previously alluded, the drugs help.)  Anyways, in doing some career counseling, one thing that I realized is how much I loved writing and spreading my vigor, vitriol, vehemence, and virility across the Vorld Vide Net.  I loved blogging not so long ago.  Why not get back into doing that?   

So I began a little online research about how to go about making money in such a venture, rather than just as a hobby.

Alas, the first thing I stumbled upon was this article and video.  A quote:

View more videos at: http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com.

“Taking a step closer to an eerie Orwellian state where creativity is crushed in the name of “the greater good,” the city of Philadelphia is demanding that bloggers pay $300 for the privilege of writing on the Internet.

This $300 “business privilege license” is for all local bloggers – even the ones that make no money off their words.

The city doesn’t stop there. In addition to the $300 for the license to write on the World Wide Web, bloggers must pay city wage taxes, business privilege taxes and taxes on any net profits -- on top of state and federal taxes -- even if the blogger only made $11 over two years, reports the City Paper.”

Chortle.  Of course Philadelphia’s archaic notions about Business Privilege  Tax would be my first impediment to a new freedom and way of thinking.   Alas, fret not, readers, I won’t let it get in the way and if anybody knows how to stick it to the man*, it’d be me.

 (*Wait, am I the man?  I get so confused in Philadelphia as to whether I’m the oppressor or the oppressee.  Stupid race/economic/gender/lifestyle relations.  Blech.) 

"MY" Candidate...

Obama won.

I went to work this morning and read the transcripts of the victory and concession speeches. And I checked the voting results here in Philadelphia by division/ward (Really cool site here where I can see exactly how many voted at my exact polling place Ward22/Div20 and how many votes were cast for each candidate).

I was listening to folks at the train station talk about "their" winner. And reading about people identifying themselves with "their" candidate based on the vote that they cast.

And it made me think that it's kind of a load of garbage.

WE all made this decision. WE collectively elected Obama no matter which button we pushed. WE made this decision in our Primary or Caucus votes. WE made this decision in the way that we spoke about the issues or the candidates to our co-workers, spouses, neighbors, and friends. These party platforms and candidates were defined, in large part, by a desire to get OUR vote. What WE instructed our constituents to vote or say defined the party stance and the platform of both candidates, and even their tone or campaign style. Every time WE tune the radio to either NPR or Limbaugh, we cast a tiny vote for how these people were defined and represented. Every time WE aligned a political party with an ideology or worldview in our discussions with our kids even 20 years ago or more, WE nudged these candidates into the positions they had to hold to try and win the base and the undecideds.

I just wanted to say that as I imagined T-shirts saying "Don't Blame Me, I voted for McCain" or "Yes, We Did". For Good or Bad, (and let's be honest, no one really knows what will happen, and the rear view mirror of history isn't even all that clear), we can all lay claim to this moment. I would argue, by not claiming responsibility for this president, we are shirking our responsibility and spending more time judging another than ourselves.

(Ring, ring, ring. Hello, Speck? This is Plank. You're in somebody's eye. Later.)

BUT in another sense, none of us can lay claim to this moment, again regardless of which button we pushed.

God grants authority. We had a great sermon (Available Here) from the book of Daniel in our church a few weeks ago by a new pastor who will be planting a new "site" in South Philly early next year. (Shhhh! Don't tell anyone he's not PCA...) Listen if you like, but the gist was that God grants authority and takes it away as he sees fit for his glory and for the good of those who love him. Nebuchadnezzar was exalted to leader of the world and brought down to the dust of the earth and the dew of the grass and then restored. As were a host of other leaders, kings, presidents, and others. Whether he or anyone else was brought to that point by a birth order, political strategy, popular vote, or electoral college is irrelevant. God is controlling history for purposes we couldn't begin to understand. And in a lot of ways, by claiming a candidate as "OURS" or "THEIRS" we may be forgetting or even denying the true authority of God.


I'm still going to refuse to tell people who I voted for, other than saying that it was a split ticket. Not out of a desire to avoid blame (see above) but because I don't want that one little button to define me in people's minds when I think my comprehensive worldview (that is only percievable over years of shared conversations) is a much better indicator. Ask me about some specific issues or concepts, or even better, ask me about Jesus. He's the platform I aspire to even when I don't get it most of the time.

For My Birthday, I want to give Shoutouts... and be a ______.

Yesterday, I did my three of my favorite things for my birthday, which is today...

A. Recreational Deceit and Prevarication
B. Talk to a Good Friend Across the World
C. Laugh Heartily

It went down this way...


My friend Jessie is in Bethlehem (the original) with her husband Trey doing Racial and Cultural Reconciliation between Israelis and Palestinians. Despite this obviously demanding task that requires them to be away from friends and family in a somewhat hostile and definitely stressful environment, she remembered, as she does every year, to wish me a Happy Birthday. Yesterday, she IM'ed me from across the Atlantic, saying "Happy Birthday One Day Early!"

Being the _____ (insert appropriate derogatory title here), that I am, I decided to give her a hard time and tell her "Thanks so much. My birthday was Monday the 6th, but thank you." Lying through my teeth. And she saw right through it. She knows me well enough to know that this is the kind of stuff I try to pull all the time. She didn't believe a word of it.

So after going back and forth for a while and arguing that she must have me confused with Bill or Amy or other folks she's got in her Google Calendar who are born in October, I finally feigned indignation and told her that I would go back in my emails and find proof that she had been wishing me Happy Birthdays for years on the "correct" date of the 6th.

I searched my inbox, found an email, changed the dates and the content of the message to back up my story. She bit, hook, line, and sinker. I convinced her.

When I finally revealed my lie, and graciously admitted that she was correct in wishing me a Happy Birthday for the 8th, she was so mad she started IM swearing at me in an amalgam of Arabic/Yiddish/English. The tirade was completely indecipherable and I laughed and laughed and laughed. Good times.

Anyways, I don't feel bad, because I'm a _______ (insert even more appropriately derogatory title now that you've read the story). But her being concientious enough to remember my birthday all these years did remind me of how awesome she is and how great the work that she and her husband are doing.

So, for my birthday, loyal readers, go check out their blogs:

The Middle of Nowhere

and

O Little Town of Bethlehem

Let them know how incredible they are. Let them know how much you miss them. Or if you don't know them from Adam, just let them know that what they're doing matters. They're both so ridiculously friendly and open that you'll probably make a life-long friend.

And of course, watch Jessie stick her hand up a Goat's vagina.

Schoolhouse Rock

Schoolhouse Rock: Great blog on public education reform debates from Slate. I've most appreciated what Paul Tough has to say in his newest post, called "The Divide":

"To those in the Broader [,Bolder Approach to Education] camp: Let's admit that our public schools could be serving poor kids much, much better than they are today, and that in order to do that, they need a radical overhaul right away."

"To those in the Education Equality camp: Let's admit that alone, even the best charter schools can't fix the crisis in the nation's worst urban neighborhoods."

I always love when someone sees through the crap and characterizations and demonization of two opposing idealogies and proposes a compromise that just might work.

I also love what Michelle Rhee, the DC Superintendant of Schools is proposing. Its a split contract, one that gives teachers the option of compensation and tenure the way they've had it for a while OR one that limits tenure and enacts performance based standards but with much higher potential for raises and bonuses. (Kind of like the rest of the world functions...)

The reaction from older generation teaching union leaders is illustrative of the problem. We can debate the kind of change needed, but entrenched refusal to change is looking worse and worse on them...

I'm curious what readers who have taught or are teaching in public/private/charter schools think...

Salmon and Marrige

Wow. I really have to say that these two VP picks will probably affect my vote. I'm not sure which way I'll sway when the dust settles, but it reveals a LOT about the Presidential candidates themselves...

Personally, in terms of who did a better job "picking", I think I'd have to go with McCain picking Palin, but I'm not sure the overall effect of the two is better than Obama picking Biden. Which leads to a question to readers... Back away from your own take on the issues themselves.

Who do you think did a better job picking a running mate based on their own views?

Who do you think increased their potential to win more based on their running mate?

In the end, I guess those questions really add up to: Is it better to select a running mate who matches you or complements you? It seems like there's always a balance between those two things. And I think the best marriages have both. So regardless of how you feel about specific issues/parties, which marriage do you think is better?

Also, this quote is great:

"We want to see Ivana [Trump]," said Palin, who admittedly smells like salmon for a large part of the summer, "because we are so desperate in Alaska for any semblance of glamour and culture."

Inevitable Truths

Well, February has arrived. And with it, we must face a horrible truth:

(No, not the inevitable extinction of our species due to government subsidization of agriculture, specifically corn... We'll face that inevitable truth in March.)

The inevitable truth is that we (Rachael and I) no longer have a valid parking permit for downtown Philadelphia, Zone 1. We got a permit while renting our old apartment in Grad Hospital, and we've been using it to park downtown for the last 8 months on the three days we drove into work. Probably slightly illegal, and the moral ramifications of such a decision are less than transparent, but with two people and free parking, it was incrementally cheaper than taking public transit.

However, this too must pass and now we've entered another season of transportation. The Regional rail stop is about a block from our house and its so nice to arrive at work after a half hour of reading about the inevitable extinction of our species due to antibiotics required to sustain feed animals in the industrial food complex. It really just is so much more peaceful than Rush Hour on Lincoln Drive.

Plus, SEPTA, (South Eastern Pennsylvania Transit Authority), has decided to welcome us back with open arms and these nifty trailpasses that are promoting the "Science of Star Wars" exhibit at the Franklin Institute.


Now, I'm not really a Star Wars geek, though I do have fond memories of my best friend's Boba Fett action figure and my Darth Vader action figure battling it out over the sandbox in his backyard. (Which was probably comprised more of catpoop than sand, but neither of us has any serious diseases today, so I consider us none the worse for wear.)

Both figures were tragically lost in a failed recreation of the "Sarlacc Incident", which was mythologically incorrect as Boba Fett and Darth Vader never met, Darth Vader was not on Tattooine at that time, and they would not have been enemies anyways. Maybe the toxic bacteria from the catpoop was infecting our higher cognitive skills...

ANYWAYS, Septa had something cool on their trailpasses for the month of February. This is nice, but does not change the fact that SEPTA is still my archnemesis and that "Destroy Septa and all its Employees" is still Item #1 on my To Do List...

Seriously, its on my office wall at work, right above:
#2, Revise Industry Standards for Door Labeling
#3 File Emails
#4 Make Rebecca Cry
#5, Convert MaryEllen to a Republican
#6 Join US Olympic Curling Team
#7 Get Delaware to Secede from the Union
#8 Signage Details for Jacksonville Project.

In reference to Item #1, I just wanted to link to Septawatch which is a nice site chronicling everything Septa does wrong and why they're utter Butt Monkeys.

Paper Tiger

As previously mentioned, we're going to start tackling the Dining Room this winter/spring. In fact, we were planning on getting started this weekend in order to take advantage of my wife's availability: Classes are just starting up this week and she has MLKJDay off.**

But, we've decided to host one more event for which we'll need the Dining Room on Tuesday...
The GenXers in my extended family clan (and their children) have been getting together for a monthly dinner for the past year. My wife and I have put off hosting for some time, either because we were living downtown, living in someone else's house, or living in squalor.

So, before we do a major disassembly, we'll have an Asian Potluck for 8 adults, 4 kids, and 1 child-in-utero. Not sure what that will entail yet, but I'm desperately hoping there'll be seaweed, rice, and kimchi involved. (As the GenXers all hail from my mother's side of the family who were raised in Korea, we should be golden.)



That said, I'd like to get something started while we've got the time. So, this weekend, I'll do some shopping and organizing and researching. And maybe a little prepwork...

On the prepwork front, the only foreseeable thing I can do without creating hazards for the impending child/toddler/embryo arrival is scoring the walls to begin removing the painted wallpaper. Lots of web sites out there (and there and there and there) seem to have varying opinions on the best means and methods for painted wallpaper removal. We're going to see what we can do with a steamer, vinegar water, and scraper first. (Anyone out there with input, please feel free to add it in the comments section below...)

But one interesting discrepency between sources seems to be the use of "The Paper Tiger." Exciting name, huh? It makes me envision a scenario where my wife and I are working on the Dining Room and I say, "Love, Could you hand me the Paper Tiger?" while simultaneously making one of Ben Stiller's Blue Steel/Magnum/ Le Tigre faces from Zoolander and being really really ridiculously good looking:




















Of course, my wife responds appropriately by rolling her eyes and leaving to go hang out with normal people.

Anyways, the "Paper Tiger" is this circular spokey tool for scoring the painted wall paper so that a glue dissolving solution can work its way back behind the paper and cause it to separate from the wall. However, varying sources indicate that the results range from:
"significant damage to the plaster"
to
"ineffectual waste of time"
to
"created by God for the sole purpose of ending mankind's wallpaper scraping suffering".


Interestingly, the search "Paper Tiger" brought about a Wikipedia hit that summed up the situation quite nicely:

"Paper tiger is a literal English translation of the Chinese phrase zhǐ lǎohǔ (Chinese: 紙老虎), meaning something which seems as threatening as a tiger, but is really harmless."

The phrase is an ancient one in Chinese, but sources differ as to when it entered the English vocabulary. Although some sources may claim it dates back as far as 1850 [1], it seems the Chinese phrase was first translated when it was applied to describe the United States using propaganda tactics. In 1956, Mao Zedong said of the United States:

“

In appearance it is very powerful but in reality it is nothing to be afraid of; it is a paper tiger. Outwardly a tiger, it is made of paper, unable to withstand the wind and the rain. I believe the United States is nothing but a paper tiger.

”

In Mao Zedong's view, the term could be applied to all allegedly imperialist nations, particularly the United States and the Soviet Union (following the Sino-Soviet split): Mao argued that they appeared to be superficially powerful but would have a tendency to overextend themselves in the international arena, at which point pressure could be brought upon them by other states to cause their sudden collapse. Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev at some point may have remarked that although the "U.S. is a paper tiger, it has atomic teeth".

We're interested to hear your thoughts/experiences:

1. Is the Paper Tiger Tool a Paper Tiger (ineffective)?

2. Is our Asian Potluck for 13 a Paper Tiger (overblown)?

3. Is the War on Terror an example of American overextension abroad which makes America a Paper Tiger (less secure)?

4. Is Zoolander's "Le Tigre" pose actually a clue that the Male Modeling Farce Movie produced by VH1 is an epic statement about imperialism in which Mugatu represents cold war interests, Derek Zoolander represents citizen naiveté, and Hansel represents Mao Zedong calling out individuals as Paper Tigers (not so good looking)?

Wow. I just blew your mind.




**Footnote: To Hillary and Obama who are both loyal readers of "The-House-Rules", please put your "Who's More Racist/Sexist" debate revolving around your political attempts to align yourselves with African-American Voters aside. Instead, for the good of the American People, come up with an appropriate renaming of Martin Luther King Jr. Day. If its going to be a American National Holiday, it should at least coincide with the prevailing American culture of suburbananity, laziness, and abbreviations. "Martin Luther King Jr. Day" is too hard to type and "MLKJDay" is too hard to say. Whichever one of you wins the primary can submit your top three choices to "The-House-Rules" for consideration.

Professor Street? Really?

Think you're done with ME, Philadelphia? Just because my two terms as one of the three worst mayors in the US is up?

I haven't released my iron grip of ineptitude just yet...

No, I will taint and infect the minds of your children, and your children's children, with my ideas of entitlement and corruption...

I will continue to destroy this city from the top... especially once I become a tenured professor!

That's right, ladies and gents, the man who did nothing for 8 years except wait in line for an iPhone is going to be a professor of Urban Politics and Policy at Temple University.


For those of you who are Temple students or alumni, please raise the alarm and get this guy out of the halls of academia...


I guess for the rest of us, he's mostly gone, and Philadelphia can breathe one collective sigh of relief...

Over 12 downtown?

Doing a little Philadelphia Zoning Code research this morning at work and stumbled upon this gem... Just a little "I TOLD YOU SO" from me to all the haters out there. Yes, it is actually a law. You cannot ride your bike on the sidewalk. (Exception: unless you are under the age of 12 outside of a business district in Philadelphia.)

Now, I'm not sure that this particular law isn't a little overboard. Sometimes riding your bike on the sidewalk could be ok for the general public in my opinion. But not in the middle of Center City at Lunch or Rush Hour. And certainly not in such a way that allows YOU, the law-breaker, to yell at ME, the law-abider for getting in your way. Thusly the reason I've been annunciating "Sidewalk!" at you miscreants with an extra emphasis on the "WALK" as you invade my pedestrian territory.

You, the law-breakers, seem to have been unable to comprehend the subtle jab embedded in my admonition when you fly by and between myself and my wife at high speed with your messenger bag smacking people in the head for good measure as you go. I can understand that this may be difficult as your reckless disregard for the law has probably also caused you to land on your unhelmeted head several times after being thrown over your handlebars by an impact with a vehicle who was driving the correct way down a one way street. (Unlike you.) So, I have pasted the finer points of this particular law for you below. Hopefully this will clear everything up.

12-808 Riding on Sidewalks

(1) No person shall ride a bicycle upon a sidewalk within a business district, as such district is defined in The Vehicle Code.

(2) No person 12 years of age or more shall ride a bicycle upon any sidewalk in any district.

(3) Whenever any person is riding a bicycle upon a sidewalk, such person shall yield the right-of-way to any pedestrian and shall give audible signal before overtaking and passing such pedestrian.

(4) In areas under the jurisdiction of the Fairmount Park Commission, riding bicycles on sidewalks and foot paths may be permitted when authorized by regulations of the commission. 10

(5) Notwithstanding the provisions of Section 12-811 of this Chapter, the penalty for violation of this Section shall be a fine of $10, together with the costs of prosecution. ¹¹

(6) An individual employed under delivery person status, whether in food service or courier industries is not in any way exempted from the above restrictions. If qualifying for other "hipster" exemptions within the body of this code, you may apply for a liscence from the Philadelphia Traffic Code Enforcement Department that will allow you to ride your bicycle on posted blocks of the South Philadelphia District provided that you remain there for the rest of your life and don't bother the rest of us.

Repost: Two Party System

In light of another Election Day, fast approaching, I thought I'd unearth a political rant from the past. This is from ye ol' myspace page...

(It took my wife a little while to understand, but now she knows that if you pretend like you're interested, I'll be able to wrap it up quickly... )

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Two Party System We have these two concepts: A. My identity is in Christ and in his work for me. I AM not my responsibilities. I AM not the things I do for other people. I AM not my sin or my Spirit lead works. I must be grounded and aware of my identity as a brother and recipient of the inheritance freely promised to me: Righteousness, Life, and Relations. B. My responsibility is to Christ and the work he is doing in me. I DO have responsibilities. I DO have an imperitive to do things for other people. I DO have sin and DO have Spirit lead works. I must be grounded and aware of my responsibilities as a servant and soldier in the structure freely given to me: Righteousness, Life, and Relations. In our constant drive to outline, simplify, and turn the work of an Eternal, Infinite, All-powerful, and Mysterious God into a way of life, lesson plan, or conversation, we sway into one category or the other. We rebel against trying to understand both equally because it makes things HARDER. We have nations that only see one or the other. We have churches that only see one or the other. We have individuals (like myself) who are shortsighted and only see one or the other. Does this remind anyone else of a two party system? Coincidental? I think not. Our sinful nature drives us to take a complex and beautiful world and divide it into packages of conservative/liberal OR mystical/legalistic. Its easier to be right when you can say someone else is wrong. I'm getting sick of trying to be right. This is not a critique of any person or group of people (except maybe myself), but a realization of the way I think things really are. Sorry if its offensive to anybody. Can I get an amen? (Or at least a blog commentary?)