1. The Beast is not hungry. More typically than not, he tips over trashcans which do not contain, nor ever have contained anything edible, smelly, exciting to the olfactorys, etc. More often than not, he likes to flip the shredded paper can, which as you can imagine, is the MOST difficult one to clean up.
2. The Beast is not lonely. Or I should say, if this dog is experiencing any of the psychologically speculative conditions such as separation anxiety, he has to suck it up, hard. He gets a one hour romp in the woods every morning with other people and dogs. He gets a mid-day dog walk. He gets a post-work hour long walk through the neighborhood. Multiple trips to the dog park. All sortsa play time of wrestling, hide and seek, chase around the house with my wife and I. I think we'd spend less time on a human toddler.
3. In conclusion, the Beast, while we love him dearly, is evidence of original sin, total depravity, and the fallen nature of our world. I'm much more comfortable applying theological concepts to our dog than psychological ones.
Here he is, looking shifty:
In the past we've used Grannick's Bitter Apple, but either the stuff goes bad or it wasn't strong enough to stop the Beast from his Machivellian schemes. So, in order to try and curb this behavior, my wife bought a bottle of Bitter Yuck No Chew Spray to put on all our trashcans.
First, can we discuss the marketing/branding of this product? Attention Pet Care industry... just because I own a dog does not mean that I am a 8 year old. He did not "make a stinky", he is not "a naughty puppy", and when we want him to stop chewing on something, we're not going to chide him with "bitter yucky grossy blech." I'm an human adult, please treat me as such.
Now, my wife put this on all the trashcans in our house and it has definitely helped. We've seen a decline in the trash dumping behavior. To be fair, we also keep him in one room of the house most of the times we're gone since he started this rebellion. So that is probably a big part of it too. But my wife and I are convinced it does help.
For this reason, my wife continues to spray the kitchen trashcan with Bitter Yucky Grossy Blech. Last night, whilst cleaning the kitchen, I threw away some fried rice and then when all of it hadn't come out of the pan completely, I scooped up the remainder with my hand and shoved it in my mouth. I can attest fully that Bitter Yucky Grossy Blech, is in fact BAD. I couldn't get the nastiness out of mouth for some time despite rinsing with water, milk, vodka, and all manner of other things.
Now, I'm sure this brought you a chuckle, as the dog-owner got his comeuppance during this episode. Yes, that would be funny enough, if this was the first time this has happened. But no, this is probably episode 6 or 7 this week. E.g... me making a cocktail, having a sip, and proclaiming to Rachael, "Something's wrong with our Dishwasher, these glasses have a Bitter Yucky Grossy Blech taste to them!" or me making a salad, "Love, I can't believe how fast these cherry tomatoes went bad, they have a Bitter Yucky Grossy Blech flavor!"
Last night, I finally put two and two together and said, "UGH, this stupid Bitter Yucky Grossy Blech! It never goes away! It keeps getting in my mouth."
My wife, like the personification of wisdom calling in the streets to the wayward fool, chuckled. "Perhaps, this would be a good reminder for you not to touch the trashcan and then immediately put something in your mouth without washing your hands. I keep spraying the trashcan, which is why the stuff doesn't go away. I wouldn't expect Makai to necessarily make the association between the trashcan and the nasty taste right away but supposedly you have more cognitive reasoning skills than he. Bitter Yuck... works for dogs and husbands."
THAT should be the company's new branding campaign.
