Scene: I walk into the dining room getting ready to scrape and sand the woodwork.
ME: Hey Guys, hows it going?
CAVETTO: Sup Chump. Me & OGEE here were just talkin smack about your mom.
ME: Heh, heh. Yeah, ok. That's cool, whatever. I just wanted to know how things were. See if you wanted my help... I've got my 120 grit sandpaper here and this handy high carbon steel scraper...
OGEE: Look at this! Mother*&(%er wants to go!...
CAVETTO: Heh. Chump better recognize. Hear that, OVOLO?
ME: No, really, I don't want a fight, I just came in here to see how things were. Help you guys out, you know? I know you've been here for a while and I was just going to scrape off the old paint and put on a new coat. Seriously..., just trying to help.
OGEE: What? You saying we're not pretty enough for you?
ME: No, wait, that's not what I meant...
CAVETTO: Bitch, I'm gonna teach you how to respect...
ME: Hey, hang on a sec, can't we just chill?
OVOLO: I'm gonna kill you mother$%#^er...
ME: Hey! Ow! Ugh! Oh! No!
(Silence)
ME: Groan.
(Thunk. A Parting shot to the Kidneys.)
Postscript: Note the blood on the wall in the above pic. Eventually my cousin Tim came over and essentially picked me up off the floor. He took one look at the molding I'd been scraping and basically told me that for all my pain and bloody knuckles, I was being an overly perfectionist zealot. I'd been trying to scrape and sand the molding down to bare wood, just in order to get the best finish surface possible for repainting. He reminded me that NO ONE IS GOING TO NOTICE.
Now I know that I'm an idiot. And knowing is half the battle.
