Anxiety Questions Sets 1 & 2

Current Mood: Panicky Anxiety

Anxiety Question Set 1: Can we handle this puppy thing? How are we going to add him to our lives with work, church, neighbors, friends, and family? ACK! Is the entire Amish community conspiring to sell us a puppy mill puppy? Did they import the puppies from some undisclosed location and set up the entire scene to LOOK like the puppies were well raised? Are the mother and father actually wombats who've been genetically altered to LOOK like good dogs? Is the paperwork forged? When you crate your dog are you mentally scarring him for life? Are we buying the right chew toy size? What will we name him? Will the other dogs make fun of him behind his back? What if he has some rare genetic disease that makes him crave the taste of human flesh?

Anxiety Question Set 2: Are we overthinking this? It is just a dog, for crying out loud, right? Lots of people get dogs all the time and world hasn't imploded yet, right? Shouldn't we be more concerned with the exfoliants in toiletry products being indestructible polymers that end up in the ocean consumed by filter feeders like jellyfish, shellfish, and krill and eventually end up via the foodchain, undigested in our lower intestine? Even though Scout was a midget, Covey is dumber than rocks, Roman is a lardball, Moses is a cyborg, Russell was probably abused by previous owners, Petey ended up being a mexican hairless poodle, and Susie and Sarah** bayed at the moon every night till 2 in the morning, we all loved and enjoyed those dogs anyways, right?

At least I'm still sane* enough to divide our anxiety into two rational categories.

*And good gosh, don't respond to this post with either puppy buying advice or psycho-analysis unless you know us well enough to know how neurotic we are.

**Susie and Sarah the beagles, not my cousins they were named after.