Bitter Yuck Spray... A Review

Our Dog, Makai, has developed a new behavior, two years into his life.  He has started dumping over trashcans while we're gone.  Now, in the past, whenever we've discussed the beast on the blog, many very well-informed and well-meaning readers pop into the comments to let us know what we're doing wrong.  Before we get into that, let me outline a few things I've learned:

1.  The Beast is not hungry.  More typically than  not, he tips over trashcans which do not contain, nor ever have contained anything edible, smelly,  exciting to the olfactorys, etc.  More often than not, he likes to flip the shredded paper can, which as you can imagine, is the MOST difficult one to clean up.

2.  The Beast is not lonely.  Or I should say, if this dog is experiencing any of the psychologically speculative conditions such as separation anxiety, he has to suck it up, hard.  He gets a one hour romp in the woods every morning with other people and dogs.  He gets a mid-day dog walk.  He gets a post-work hour long walk through the neighborhood.  Multiple trips to the dog park.  All sortsa play time of wrestling, hide and seek, chase around the house with my wife and I.  I think we'd spend less time on a human toddler.

3.  In conclusion, the Beast, while we love him dearly, is evidence of original sin, total depravity, and the fallen nature of our world.  I'm much more comfortable applying theological concepts to our dog than psychological ones.

Here he is, looking shifty:

 

 In the past we've used Grannick's Bitter Apple, but either the stuff goes bad or it wasn't strong enough to stop the Beast from his Machivellian schemes. So, in order to try and curb this behavior, my wife bought a bottle of Bitter Yuck No Chew Spray to put on all our trashcans. 

First, can we discuss the marketing/branding of this product?  Attention Pet Care industry... just because I own a dog does not mean that I am a 8 year old.  He did not "make a stinky", he is not "a naughty puppy", and when we want him to stop chewing on something, we're not going to chide him with "bitter yucky grossy blech."  I'm an human adult, please treat me as such.

Now, my wife put this on all the trashcans in our house and it has definitely helped.  We've seen a decline in the trash dumping behavior.  To be fair, we also keep him in one room of the house most of the times we're gone since he started this rebellion.  So that is probably a big part of it too.  But my wife and I are convinced it does help.

For this reason, my wife continues to spray the kitchen trashcan with Bitter Yucky Grossy Blech.  Last night, whilst cleaning the kitchen, I threw away some fried rice and then when all of it hadn't come out of the pan completely, I scooped up the remainder with my hand and shoved it in my mouth.  I can attest fully that Bitter Yucky Grossy Blech, is in fact BAD.  I couldn't get the nastiness out of mouth for some time despite rinsing with water, milk, vodka, and all manner of other things.

Now, I'm sure this brought you a chuckle, as the dog-owner got his comeuppance during this episode.  Yes, that would be funny enough, if this was the first time this has happened.  But no, this is probably episode 6 or 7 this week.   E.g... me making a cocktail, having a sip, and proclaiming to Rachael, "Something's wrong with our Dishwasher, these glasses have a Bitter Yucky Grossy Blech taste to them!"    or me making a salad, "Love, I can't believe how fast these cherry tomatoes went bad, they have a Bitter Yucky Grossy Blech flavor!"

Last night, I finally put two and two together and said, "UGH, this stupid Bitter Yucky Grossy Blech!  It never goes away!  It keeps getting in my mouth."

My wife, like the personification of wisdom calling in the streets to the wayward fool, chuckled.  "Perhaps, this would be a good reminder for you not to touch the trashcan and then immediately put something in your mouth without washing your hands.  I keep spraying the  trashcan, which is why the stuff doesn't go away.  I wouldn't expect Makai to necessarily make the association between the trashcan and the nasty taste right away but supposedly you have more cognitive reasoning skills than he.  Bitter Yuck... works for dogs and husbands."

THAT should be the company's new branding campaign.

Everything but the...

While we're talking about kitchens, let's discuss the kitchen sink.  Of all the places in my house, the kitchen sink work station is one where being a tall man comes at an extreme disadvantage.  Kitchen counters are unfortunately set at an industry standard 36 inches high.  If you're a tall person, say 6'-0" or taller, this causes you to lean over the counter ever so slightly to get close to what you're doing.   The kitchen sink tends to be one place where you stand for a prolonged period of time, doing all those frakking dishes.  At an average of 8" deep, that puts the bottom of the sink at 28", AKA just above the knee*.  Back aches and cramps ensue. (My wife would site that if I just cooked less elaborate meals, I wouldn't be washing so many dishes.)  One can get taller cabinets made, theoretically, but that'd be mighty expensive and who knows if the next buyer of your home is also going to have an antelopish dude who likes to cook?

So in my research on kitchen sinks today, I stumbled across this beauty from Kohler**...

Now without seeing it in context, or downloading the specifications and measurements, you might not realize that this puppy sits on top of the counter.  Its still the average 8" deep, which is less than I prefer, but the top lip sits 4 inches above your countertop surface, bringing the base of the sink to 32" AKA mid-thigh*.  A tall man's dream sink.

It is listed as an apron sink, which is another thing to discuss.  I've never really understood this fascination with apron or farmhouse sinks that is going around right now.  Other than the ability to hang a dishtowel on the edge and not get the front edge of your cabinets wet, what's the appeal?  Is it really just fashion?  It seems like there are a lot disadvantages for an apron front, including how they work with standard cabinet sizes, if its just a fashion statement.  Clue me in here.

But then, it occured to me that one half of my client is a little less than tall.  The apron sink does give one benefit of dropping the sink base by an inch and a half (similar to an undermount sink)  but bringing the basin the whole way out to the edge of the counter so that she can wash the dishes without the inverse of the problem I have.

So, I found this sink for her from Sheffield.  I'm questioning whether it will be helpul or not.  Your thoughts?  What functional benefits or disadvantages do you see in a sink like this?  Leave it in the comments...

Footnotes:

*I was going to use other relative length/height descriptors but this is a family blog.

**Can we discuss why Kohler would choose to have a picture of old people bathing together on the front page of their site?  Ew.  Old people shouldn't bathe.  That way their smell becomes a primary indicator that there's one in the next room and everyone can be on their guard against impending inevitable crotchetyness.


***All this discussion of short people makes me want to link "Shorty is an Eenie Meenie Mo Lover".  Enjoy the Biebs, y'all..

Dish Drying Rack et al...

I had seen this great idea for a folding dish rack above the kitchen sink in Philadelphia Magazine from a house near us in Chestnut Hill.  I don't think it will necessarily be applicable in the house I'm designing but I stumbled across it while searching for precedent and idea images of kitchens to show the client.  I thought y'all might like it.  Here's some of the other kitchen shots I'm collecting...

Seamless Stainless Steel, Seamless Stainless Steel, Seamless Stainle...

Oh to be sketching again...

It feels like such a long time since I put pencil to trace paper and came up with some original ideas.  Plus, to add to my joy, I found a nice brown pencil to do my pochés. [poh-sheyz]
(Your lesson in Architecture snobbery today will be the correct usage of the word poché.  Please don your black turtleneck sweater and say "Seamless Stainless Steel" with shivers of pleasure 7 times fast before clicking through to this explanatory link.)

My friend Nate from Architecture School.

I always was mocked in school for my love of sepia toned pencil drawings.  But to me, there was nothing like a decidedly modernist plan or section drawn in brown pencil like an old-timey saloon photo at the theme park.  Sarcasm is our friend, kids.  Its keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously whilst we discuss Zaha Hadid vs. Frank Gehry:  Who's the bigger blowhard?

In summation, while these sketches aren't going to win any awards or demolish anybody's façade*, its nice to be sketching... satisfaction is its own reward.

If you look closely, you'll also notice that my new plan has a quilting room.  Don't you wish you could have a quilting room?  In the comments, feel free to mention what you would use a "quilting room" for...  and don't be dirty.

*That's just a bonus snobbery lesson for you.  Same rules apply before clicking through to Wikipedia.

Cork Floor

I'm starting work on a new project today, a residential unit over looking Rittenhouse square.  It's in the Parc building, right over the Stephen Starr restaurant of the same name.  I'm super excited about it both as I've wanted to do some residential work for some time and because among other things, check out the view...

 It's definitely winter in Philly, but once those trees green up and the park comes to life, it'll be amazing.

 Anyways, I'm already starting to think of things I'd like to do in the space.  Since the owners are wine enthusiasts, I immediately thought this product that I saw on This Old House's blog "The Hardware Aisle" would be great to use, perhaps in the kitchen.

 Cork flooring "tile", recycled from rejected wine corks, durable and stain resistant, soft underfoot, and just plain beautiful.  Heck, I'd like to put it in our kitchen too.  It'd be perfect for dancing while I'm cooking dinner... which is usually to top 40 hits of the year past.  I have great taste in flooring.  Many would say "not so much", about my taste in music.

Thrunday- Raj Collins

So among the developments in recent months has been the healing of a deep seated rift in my marriage to my wife: namely, how to throw a party together.

We both knew that we loved to be hospitable. Its one way in which we love to love people. But the primary issue is that I am an extreme extrovert who values short shallow relationships with a lot of people all at once and my wife is a deep introvert who values actual meaningful relationships with a few people for an extended period of time. Left to my own devices, I would throw a massive party with 100 people barely fitting in our home with drinking, reveling, music, etc where I didn’t have to talk to any one person for too long about their new boring film project on the oppression of the indigenous population of Galamaharis in West Skeda… Zzzzzzz...

My wife on the other hand, would lean toward an intimate gathering of two or four friends on an occasional basis, but one where she could really dig in and ask them how they FELT about the new cell phone ring they’ve chosen.

 We finally struck upon a perfect compromise. The third Sunday of every month we host a happy hour for all sorts of friends and neighbors from 5-7. For her, its perfect because she can mingle but also hang with her closest friends who make it a point to be there every time. Since it is a monthly event and it has a limited time frame, it strikes the perfect balance of getting to connect with people deeply but not be overwhelmed with being “on”. For me, its perfect because I can invite new people every time and they mingle and take care of themselves for two hours. I can feed them good food and drinks for less than it would cost Rach and I to go get two cocktails a piece at the local watering hole. We have taken to calling the event “Thrunday”. (Yes, phonetically and etymologically it isn’t a perfect contraction for Third Sunday, but it rolls of the tongue and sounds vaguely medieval.

Anyways, we had a good bit of gin in the cabinet for yesterday’s Thrunday and I was itching to make these Samosas that I found online. (PS, excellent.  But put in half the peas called for and I cooked up some frozen diced potatoes instead of the mashed.)  So, an Indian Theme emerged. And I spent a little of Sunday afternoon coming up with a new cocktail, the Raj Collins. (I’m sure you can put two and two together.)

Here’s the recipe:

The Raj Collins**

Raj Collins
Super Fine Sugar
Garam Masala
Lemon wedge
1 oz fresh lemon juice (about ½ a good sized lemon)
1 Tbs Ginger Simple Syrup (Recipe Follows)
1 ½ oz Gin
Club Soda
On a plate, mix 1 part Garam Masala to 4 parts super fine sugar. (3/4 tsp Garam Masala to 1 Tbs Sugar). Run a lemon wedge around the edge of an Old Fashioned or Low Ball glass. Dip in sugar mix and swirl to coat. Add 1 oz lemon juice to the glass, 1 Tbs Ginger Simple Syrup, 1 ½ oz. of Gin. Handful of ice, top with club soda, and give ‘er a stir with a spoon.

Ginger Simple Syrup:
You could use powdered ginger in this recipe, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Its much better to make a quick ginger syrup with ¼ cup of sugar, 1/8 cup of water, and three 1” diameter - 1/8” thick slices of ginger. (I always buy bags of fresh ginger, peel it at all with a spoon edge and slice it into pieces of this size. Freeze it on a cookie sheet before sticking it in a ziplock and you’ve got fresh ginger for months.) Anywhoodle, put all that stuff in a little saucepan, bring to a boil while stirring, turn down to simmer for 5 minutes. Strain out the ginger and let cool.


** I should also note that we seem to have lost our camera. So for now, I’m stealing other people’s pictures from the web and photoshopping them. Don’t tell anybody. We can’t afford a new camera AND legal fees.

You Gotta Love Philly…

So, I briefly mentioned that I’m going to be working part time in the near future in Architecture as a means to pursue other things in life with a little balance and perspective.  (More on anxiety induced panic attacks as a result of my job some other time… I’m in far too good a mood right now to write about that PLUS as previously alluded, the drugs help.)  Anyways, in doing some career counseling, one thing that I realized is how much I loved writing and spreading my vigor, vitriol, vehemence, and virility across the Vorld Vide Net.  I loved blogging not so long ago.  Why not get back into doing that?   

So I began a little online research about how to go about making money in such a venture, rather than just as a hobby.

Alas, the first thing I stumbled upon was this article and video.  A quote:

View more videos at: http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com.

“Taking a step closer to an eerie Orwellian state where creativity is crushed in the name of “the greater good,” the city of Philadelphia is demanding that bloggers pay $300 for the privilege of writing on the Internet.

This $300 “business privilege license” is for all local bloggers – even the ones that make no money off their words.

The city doesn’t stop there. In addition to the $300 for the license to write on the World Wide Web, bloggers must pay city wage taxes, business privilege taxes and taxes on any net profits -- on top of state and federal taxes -- even if the blogger only made $11 over two years, reports the City Paper.”

Chortle.  Of course Philadelphia’s archaic notions about Business Privilege  Tax would be my first impediment to a new freedom and way of thinking.   Alas, fret not, readers, I won’t let it get in the way and if anybody knows how to stick it to the man*, it’d be me.

 (*Wait, am I the man?  I get so confused in Philadelphia as to whether I’m the oppressor or the oppressee.  Stupid race/economic/gender/lifestyle relations.  Blech.) 

I'm Back, Baby! (A How-To Guide)

So for those of you who put me on their blog reader and have wondered where I’ve been for two years, I’m back! For those of you seeing my blog for the first time, just don’t look at the post dates and it will be like I never left.

How does one begin to sum up a two year absence? First step, crack open a beer. I’m drinking a Hennepin from Ommegang right now. It’s fantastic. Yes, its only 10 AM. What of it? It’s President’s Day and I’m celebrating freedom and democracy by having a beer whenever I damn well please. Perhaps the bigger question you should be asking yourself is why you AREN’T drinking a beer right now. Clearly, as the tea baggers would say, you are perpetrating your socialist communist agenda that wishes to deprive us noble God-fearing free-market rugged individualists of our civil liberties. For shame…

Second step, pretend like my absence never happened. I talked to a bunch of folks over the last two who repeatedly asked where my blog had gone. They regaled me with stories of the massive void that had been left in their lives by my silence. They mourned. They grieved. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. All of which is crazy, because my absence never happened. Moving on…

Third step, Update via Bullet Points. There’s no way to condense all the pertinent information into a blog post if I go with a narrative structure. The time wasted on telling you about the particulars of drug-induced text messaging calamities would take 17 paragraphs minimum. So, I’m opting for the list format:

*Still Happily Married, Living in Mt Airy-Philadelphia, No Kids, One Dog

*Still working at the same Architectural firm, but going to a part-time structure to allow me time for other interests. (Like Writing!)

*Still heavily interested in everything related to the “House” including home renovation, gardening, cooking, design, and entertaining. And of course the ancillary topics of city living, politics, faith and religion, and pest control. (The Stink Bug Eradication Techniques post is definitely my most popular to date.)

*Still super anxious type-A opinionated control freak, but the drugs are helping.

All of this is to say, I look forward to blogging more in the future. Coming up, a post on our newest cocktail invention, the Raj Collins.

Fourth Step, pull out the liquor and get started.

I’ll be talking to ya.