Bleep zip cough, sniffle, wheeeeze.
What’s that Weil M. Furnace? Are you okay?
Neep! Zrong, sniffle, sniffle cough…
Oh, no! You’re sick, again?
Zip bing ding weel neep i keel short cycling.
Short cycling? But we knew about that! The home inspector told us about that and the previous homeowner said she’d get you checked out by a qualified technician. And you seemed fine.
Bleep zip cough, sniffle, wheeeeze… sniffle, glik.
I know, I know. You can hardly get moving before you shut down. I’m that way when I’m sick too. I get fired up for all of 30 seconds and then I have to sit out for three mintues before I can go again. I totally know how you feel. I’m so sorry.
Glip, glip, glip. Meke Leke Hi, Meke… cough cough, wheeeeze.
But I don’t understand, I have a receipt for work completed here from Edward Hughes and Son. I’ll call them right now.
Weel... sniffle.
Well, I talked to them and they’re *@#$ers. They won’t even honor the work they did two months ago. They wanted to charge me $75 bucks to just come out and see that they didn’t fix you. Don’t worry, we’ll never let Edward Hughes and Son HVAC contracting ever touch you again. And I’ll make sure to tell everyone I know so that no one else’s trusty furnace is subjected to the humiliation of dealing with them again.
Zik, neep, gillygilly, i wiln. Riminil wirk zuke eep, il
Yeah, I know it could be worse. Sure, I remember the house we looked at on
Nip, nip, Riminil ORBLOKZ?
Yeah, that frickin dude Orblokz was freaky scary, like something out of Ridley Scott’s “Alien”…
[Fade to FLASHBACK]
“I AM ORBLOKZ, DESTROYER OF WORLDS.
I AM SPEAKING TO YOU IN YOUR PUNY EARTH LANGUAGE THAT YOU MAY KNOW FEAR!
MWAH, AH, AH, AH.
I WILL EAT YOUR CHILDREN AND BURN AWAY YOUR SANITY WITH MY SCARY-ASS APPENDAGES.”
[Fade Back to PRESENT]
Neep wiel zing zing, Speaker of the House. Wheeze…
No, you’re the best. Yeah, I’m totally glad I have you Weil M. Furnace. We’ll get you fixed up in no time. I promise.
Zeep.
