Re-post: Umbrella Rants

Well, its another rainy day in Philly. And of course on my walk to work, I was poked repeatedly by the Umbrella Bearing Hoards. Seems like a good time for another Re-post from ye ol' myspace page...

One can never rant on the same topic/soapbox too much!

Monday, September 13, 2004

A quote from a writer I enjoy: "My shoulders and pants are soaked. I’m wrestling against every torque in the wind. If this umbrella turns inside out again, it’s toast. I can’t see where I’m going. In fact, under the black nylon I fell like Charlie Brown, shadowed by a private cloud. A magic circle of dryness wreathes my face. This is my only comfort. Then the wind blusters and a baby tsunami splatters my cheeks. Execrable, flapping, nylon! Peering through the spitting air, dodging all the maniacs and dawdlers, Sartre pops into my head: “L’enfer c’est les autres.” Hell is other people, especially when it rains. Eye-poking; bobbing and weaving; lifting umbrellas to avert jousting: Where does all this anti-etiquette come from? I am so sick of how crappy umbrellas are." From "Never Say Dry", by Jude Stewart, I.D. Magazine, June 2004

Friday, March 16, 2007

Umbrella Day! On a day such as this, check out ID magazine and Treehugger's winner for the "Inside Out" design a new umbrella competition: The CRAYELLA. Not only is it environmentally conscious in a reasonable laissez faire means (Therefore NOT governmentally mandated which will never work.), it also alleviates some of the inherent moral problems of the traditional umbrella. It promotes spatial awareness, small business, sustainability, fashion, and good design. I had to bring an umbrella to work today. I hate umbrellas. Short people with umbrellas poke out the eyes of tall people. People who aren't concious of the area that their umbrella occupies shove others into the street and/or get them soaking wet. Umbrellas limit visibility of pedestrians and make the sidewalk a warzone. They really only keep your head dry which is what we have hats for. They break all the time. If you're a big person in need of a big umbrella, they're too large and heavy, even folded, to carry with you all the time, so you are often stuck without when when you need it. Its about time we designed a new umbrella. Kudos to Crayella.